“The Dream Fell Apart”…Or did it?

President Trump and Chairman Kim Jong-Un met in Hanoi, Vietnam on February 27th. Expectations for the meeting were high, and the ultimate goal was to work towards both denuclearization of the Korean Peninsula and a signing of a Peace Treaty officially ending the Korean War. But the meeting ended abruptly on Thursday afternoon as President Trump walked out of the talks.

Chairman Kim Jong-Un and President Trump Shaking Hands

News reports have already labeled the summit as a “dream that fell apart”. But did it? Or was it just too soon to resolve all issues on hand?

My husband and I lived and worked in North Korea for over a decade. We have ample experience negotiating with North Koreans. What we have learned over the years is that in North Korea much is possible if we only have the time and endurance to work through the issues.

There have been many times that we have needed to walk out on negotiations. But what has mattered the most is that we had the commitment to keep trying. It takes time for a relationship between two different world-views to unpack all misunderstandings, acknowledge past hurts, take necessary steps, and meet expectations. But the important thing is that we had the willingness to continue working together towards positive progress.

For the first four years in Pyongyang, our family lived on an isolated, heavily guarded compound on the west side of the city. We had no freedom to leave the compound without the escort of our minders. It was a bleakly isolated existence.

We began to plead with our North Korean counterparts to be allowed to move to the Foreign Diplomatic Compound where we could at least have access to a grocery store and other foreigners. But as U.S. citizens, with no formal diplomatic status in North Korea, we had no official standing to make such a request. We made it nonetheless.

Entrance to the Foreign Diplomatic Compound Pyongyang, DPRK

After much negotiation, the final decision came down. Our application to move to the Foreign Compound was denied. Together my husband and I decided that we would be leaving to take a break from life inside North Korea. Four years of isolation had taken its toll, and we could not continue living that way.

To our utter amazement, two or three days later, our minder returned to tell us to pack our belongings. We were moving to the Foreign Compound! Behind the scenes, our minder had intervened on our behalf to all the officials involved in the decision process and reversed their initial verdict. (Story from Discovering Joy: Ten Years in North Korea; www.joyinnorthkorea.com)

We learned through this experience that meaningful engagement with North Korea requires long-term investment in trustworthy relationships.It was only through our trusted relationship with our minder that we became the first American family to live on the Foreign Diplomatic Compound in almost seventy years!

Although this story does not pale in comparison to world-wide negotiations, I believe there is an underlining truth in it. It takes time to build trustworthy relationships, but once these relationships are built, they can make or break a deal. The second summit between President Trump and Chairman Kim Jong-Un may have ended suddenly with initial disappointment, but as long as the US and the DPRK continue to meet and discuss their terms, with time as their relationship is fostered, we just might be surprised by what may be possible!

So, has this dream fallen apart? Or it it yet to be fulfilled? As for me, I think this dream is just now beginning to unfold.