Scratching the Surface…

We all know the saying, “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” Yet, we do it all the time.

It is easy to judge a person, a culture, or even a nation if all we know about them is surface-level knowledge. This was true for my husband, Stephen, and I the first time we started traveling into North Korea. All we knew of the country was what the media portrayed. We had read from a limited genre to try to understand the country, but nothing prepared us for what we came to experience.

Flashing through Stephen’s mind were men with horns and tails. Growing up in South Korea, he was taught as a young child that North Koreans looked like little devils. Both countries have used propaganda as a means to control the general population. Fear was instilled in him from a very young age. But after talking with the North Korean guides, his perspective began to change.

Once past the initial introductions and familiarities, the North Korean people were kind-hearted and generous. The difficulty was getting past this phase. North Koreans are trained to observe everything. Even common people have a system of reporting on each other’s activities, so the guides we were with were highly trained and prepared to ask us many questions and answer anything that came their way. With all outsiders, North Koreans have a pride for their people and country. Getting past the formalities depends largely upon one’s sensitivity to North Korean pride and culture.

As mentioned, North Koreans notice everything. One does not need to say anything to give the guides a good impression. Small things like being courteous, respectful, and polite go a long way. Having a deep understanding of Korean culture was very helpful to us. (What is respectful in one culture may be rude in another! Even these small differences make a difference when developing relationships inside.) We were able to share with them our concern and love for the people just by the way we greeted them, the way we carried ourselves, the manner of our speech, and by showing consideration for our guides.

Once in town, I will never forget the first time I, as a white American, visited the local market. Each corner I turned in the market was accompanied with giggles and shrills from the women venders. I would greet them in Korean, and they would all burst out in smiles and laughter. However, it wasn’t all fun and warm. Others looked at us with skepticism. But, many others greeted us with smiles and open hearts.

It was difficult for us to leave after that first trip. It was very brief, but it had changed our lives forever. We would never be the same again. Our hearts had forever been changed with a deeper love for the people of North Korea and an awe for the beauty of their serene landscape. We would soon learn that we had so many more lessons to learn. The more we experienced in real life who North Koreans were, the more we gleaned insight and understanding about them.

This past week I have read diverse articles about how the Hanoi Summit between President Trump and Chairman Kim Jong-Un was concluded. Many say that the summit was a complete failure, others mention the shrewdness of either leader. Unfortunately, whatever the conclusion may be, it is evident that politics and power plays are impacting the fate of the Korean Peninsula.

North Korean women weeding or “Scratching the surface”

My hope is that we would learn to see and understand one other from each other’s point of view. What is North Korea trying to accomplish? What are the U.S.’s objectives? I think if we stop scratching the surface and instead dig deeper into our intentions, we just might be trying to achieve the same goal. Yes, the two countries are going about it in two very different ways. And we may not agree with each other’s tactics. But if the question is a matter of peace on the Korean Peninsula, we might be surprised to find that if we refrain from judging the situation at face value we just might be able to find common ground from which a relationship can be built to last.