My North Korean Birthday
Today is my birthday, but it is only my second birthday in recent years that has not been celebrated in the presence of our North Korean colleagues and friends. For about nine years, almost without fail, every year I celebrated my birthday in North Korea.
Although our family has lived and worked in North Korea for about twelve years now, we never lived a full, uninterrupted year in the country. Due to visa constraints, limited communication, and the need for fresh supplies, we often had to go in and out from China. The longest period of time we stayed in North Korea was approximately 4 to 5 months. But somehow almost every year, I would have the privilege of celebrating my birthday inside the DPRK.
My first birthday inside was the most significant. Our non-profit organization, Ignis Community, was working at the time in the northeast region known as Rason. We had not yet been to the capital city of Pyongyang, and we were curious to see what the rest of the country was like. Since our official business and humanitarian work was strictly in the Rason area, we took a group of team members as tourists into the city of Pyongyang.
For many years in the month of September, Pyongyang celebrated the Airirang Mass Games, an annual cultural spectacle that gives tourists from around the world the opportunity to visit this mysterious city. Our schedule was packed from morning until evening during our entire stay. We took full advantage of this trip to see all the major sights in and around the city.
The highlight of the visit of course was the actual Arirang Games, the only performance like it in the world. Tens of thousands of North Korean dancers train for months to perform in perfect unison. Their phased dances tell the story of the nation. We came to visit Pyongyang at this festive time for the Arirang Games, but we also had the opportunity to tour other parts of the countryside.
On September 28, 2009, for my first birthday in North Korea, we visited the famous Myohyang Mountain just north of Pyongyang. Although Myohyangsan is not one of the larger mountains in Korea, it is appreciated for its scenic beauty and the historic mythical significance of being the home of the Korean nation’s founder, Dangun. While we were there we had the option of taking several hiking paths to explore the area, but we opted instead to have a simple picnic along a stream that ran down the mountainside. It was a refreshing and relaxing atmosphere in the middle of a mixed forest of sweet smelling deciduous and coniferous trees. Sitting in the sunshine on the banks of an ice-cold mountain stream on the side of the mountain, we ate our box lunches of rice with side dishes of meat and vegetables and sang impromptu karaoke. It was a beautiful moment that I’ll never forget. (Excerpt from Discovering Joy: Ten Years in North Korea)
My husband, with the prompting of our North Korean guide, sang to me a famous North Korean song dedicated to the unrecognized, and often unseen, hard work of North Korean wives. At the time, my Korean was still improving, so I honestly did not understand every nuance of the lyrics, but I could tell from my husband’s facial expressions and other people’s reactions that the song was meant out of love and respect for the women of North Korea.
Since then, my birthday celebrations have included lamp skewer dinners, Italian pizza and pasta, homemade cakes, and many other delicious treats, but it also always included a bouquet of fragrant flowers with birthday wishes from our North Korean colleagues. Sometimes the flowers were brought to me the first thing in the morning at home. At other times, the doctors of Pyongyang Medical School Hospital and our pediatric patients would surprise me with flowers in our treatment room, and still at other times the surprise was reserved for the end of the day. Regardless of when it was, without fail, our North Korean friends never forgot my birthday.
My Birthday Dinner at a local Italian Restaurant in Pyongyang, DPRK
Of course, it helps that North Koreans have my birthday on all of their official records as well as my visa applications, but I am still impressed. Most of us do not take the time or effort to acknowledge or recognize each other for each other’s birthdays as our North Korean counterparts did for me.
Out of all my birthday celebrations in North Korea, one precious gift stands above the rest. This gift came from the most unlikely person. After relocating to the capital, as part of our foreign-approved housing in Pyongyang, we had cleaning and maintenance staff that provided upkeep for the compound grounds. The cleaning staff were exclusively women. To make sure that no one person came into extensive contact with foreigners, these ladies were rotated frequently throughout our time in Pyongyang.
Our first maintenance lady was a young mother of a four years-old boy. She worked long hours from early in the morning until 7 pm or later every evening. Even on Saturdays and Sundays we would see her on the grounds working. I found myself concerned for her son, as I could relate to her as a mother of three. She and I discovered a special connection. Sometimes she would observe me cooking and stop to ask me what recipe I was using. Once she even brought her son to work and introduced us to him.
Out of the blue one day, about two weeks prior to my birthday, this young mother quietly approached me and asked me what I liked. “Do you like ceramics? How about pigs?” she asked.
Not really understanding the purpose of the question, I just answered, “Sure.” “I think pigs are cute.”
On my birthday, to my surprise I discovered a set of ceramic pigs placed on the television mantle in our bedroom. “The pigs are versatile,” she explained. “You can look at their laughing faces or turn them around and stare at their cute, pink bottoms!” Every day after that, each time she would clean our room, she would turn the pigs around, so that I could get the full enjoyment of her thoughtful, birthday gift.
This local North Korean employee was not an official guide or a governmental employee. She was just a common North Korean woman. She had nothing to gain out of recognizing my birthday, and she did not have ample resources at her disposal. Yet, she intentionally went out of her way to celebrate my birthday in a quiet but deliberate way. Since common North Koreans by law must keep their distance from foreigners, she was very careful in the way that she gave me her little gift. But to this day, it has been one of the most heart-felt, genuine expressions of friendship that I have ever experienced, and it made that particular birthday in Pyongyang especially special.
Today as I reflect upon my birthdays of the past, I cannot help but cherish my long streak of birthdays in North Korea. While living inside, I never had to wonder if people would remember that it was my birthday. Experience told me that they would. And in the most unlikely of places, in the Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea (DPRK), I discovered glimpses of genuine friendship and joy.